Esen Est Zich
עסן עסט זיך, טרינקן טרינקט זיך, וואס זאל מען טאן עס דאווענט זיך נישט? עסן עסט זיך, שלאפן שלאפט זיך, וואס זאל מען טאן אז עס לערנט זיך נישט?
This old Chassidisher niggun, which is often sung at farbrengens, expresses the feelings of a chossid’s bitterness as he demands of himself, “How is it that I eat, drink and sleep with ease and with a geshmak, but when it comes the time to learn or daven I am missing the geshmak?" My “Zich” enjoys Gashmios but not Elokus.
The final part of the niggun is wordless, hopefull. “Eventually,” says the Chassid, “I will be able to “derher” the ‘Ohr Eloki’ and the geshmak in davening and learning.
The Niggun’s History
This niggun originates from chassidim in Russia and was eventually brought to America by the chossid Reb Tuvia Belkin. There are those who say that he, himself, composed it. It should be noted that there are a few versions to this niggun. In Sefer Hanigunim the words are:
עסן עסט זיך, טרינקן טרינקט זיך, דער חסרון איז נאר אז עס דאווענט זיך נישט.
it also doesn’t contain the final wordless stanza. This is the way Reb Tuvia Belkin originally taught it, however by the Rebbe’s farbrengens it would be sung the the way we know it today. The Rebbe was also very medayik that the last stanza be sung correctly. The Rebbe said that singing it incorrectly makes a difference in the “toichen” of the niggun.
Interestingly enough, the words “shlufen shluft zich” were added by Chassidim once they came to America!
The Rebbe loved this niggun very much and spoke about its significance many times. It was sung quite often by farbrengens, especially in the early years.
On Shabbos Kedoshim 5714, after teaching the famous niggun “Tzama Lecha Nafshi”, the Rebbe explained how when one is so low that he doesn’t thirst for Elokus he should feel his lowliness and ask Hashem to have mercy on him. The Rebbe continued on to explain the inner meaning of the niggun “Esen Est Zich”, how it expresses a chossid’s bitterness about his situation. In order to eat he needs no preparation, it happens automatically, but when it comes to davening, which is all about thirsting for Hashem, he must meditate at length to arouse this feeling. After such a thought, the chossid gives a “krechtz” and begs Hashem to have mercy on him.
With what do you struggle?
On Simchas Torah 5716, the Rebbe began to sing “Esen Est Zich” by himself while all those present were simply listening in. After a while the Rebbe said,”All those whose problems are that they DO Daven and their difficulty is in eating should not sing”. Immediately everyone joined in the singing..
By the Rebbe